homosexuality QUESTION from Anonymous on February 18, 2003 Dear Brother Ignatius
I have realised that as a child, I am attracted to people of the same sex and it is only in adulthood that I understand that I have homosexual tendencies.
The reason for writing is really not to ask why but rather, how should I cope. When I realise that homosexuality is an abominable sin in God's eyes(and I fully accept the teachings of the church), I have tried to contain my desires but the frustration I have within me is painful. If homosexuality is not right, then, is there someone in the church who can help me?
I have tried and prayed that these desires be suppressed, but though I can contain it for a period, the desires get stronger. I have not had sexual relations for 2 years now(after realising that this is not align with the teachings of the church), and have also stopped my habit of compulsive masturbation, it is coming back now and sometimes I find it futile and lose hope.
At times, I ask myself what's the point in going for confession knowing that I will fall again very soon. I get tired of confessing the same sin of masturbation etc(all related to desires but not the act itself) and I feel very remorseful for commiting the sin. It is like what was said in Roman 7, about the 2 opposing forces.
The priest whom I confessed to will at times be stern and tell me that I have to pray, to focus on Jesus etc etc but it is very very tough. Nobody can understand unless you are in the same shoes as I am. The harder I try, the more difficult it gets and I am really at my wits end. I ha! ve even asked an catholic priest(exorcist and he is recognised by the church) who once visited my country to pray over me but to no avail.
Perhaps, this is a cross which I have to carry, for whatsoever reason, and I have accepted this cross and at the same time, am trying very hard to carry it but it can be very very trying at times. Also, this is not a topic which I can freely discuss with anybody or anywhere.
Can you advise me on how to cope, and is there anyway to be delivered and if so, how?
Thank you
ANSWER by John-Paul Ignatius, OLSM on April 10, 2003 Dear Sir:
Be assured that God Loves You! I know the pain you are going through. It is truly difficult.
I do not have homosexual attractions, but I too have sexual urges that must be dealt with since I am unmarried, and even more, I am a celibate brother. These urges are strong and difficult to cope with.
In addition, in my case, I had a sexual addiction that began in childhood. As an addiction it seemed impossible to control. I too felt the despair of sinning, then confession, then sinning again, then confession, then sinning again, then confession.
Although the attraction is different between us, the problem is the same -- controlling sexual urges. I know your pain and suffering.
But brother there is freedom for you. There is help. God will help you and the Church will too.
Although it is not active at the moment, we will be re-activating it in the near future, there is an online Support Group for people with Sexual Addictions and Problems. It is called the Catholic Support Group for Sexual Addiction Recovery. It is part of our ministry and is located on our website: Click Here
Also, there is a special support group that is loyal to the Church for those with homosexual orientations. It is called Courage: http://couragerc.net/
In addition some of the prayers in the Spiritual Warfare Prayer Catalog linked below may be helpful too. You can ask God to deliver you from any demonic attachments, if any, that may be associated with your problem. With sexual problems of all sorts it is not uncommon to have a demon on the shoulder trying to make our urges more difficult than they have to be.
You may never be freed from the urges. That may be a cross you have to bear. But you can be free from the bondage of those urges and live a joyous and victorious Christ Life.
St. Teresa of Avila, I think it was, was also plagued with sexual thoughts. She prayed to God to be freed from all sexual thoughts, for perfect chastity of mind. God granted her prayer, but for most of us it is a trail that we must endure. Nevertheless, Oh Lord, give me the gift that you gave St. Teresa!!!!
God Bless. We will be praying for you. Bro. Ignatius


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