Spiritual Warfare Forum: general malaise
general malaise QUESTION from In need on September 5, 2002 Hello-
I am a baptized Catholic convert who loves the Church very much. I attend Mass every Sunday and confession at least once a month. I strive to stay loyal to Her teachings. I am the only member in my immediate family that is Catholic, let alone baptised. My mom is very much into new age stuff and beliefs, as I was at one time, although I'm trying to get her away from it.
The problem is that I'm finding it hard to find joy. There are times I feel very close to the Lord and it's easy to say morning/evening prayers, give charity to others, be grateful, live the Christian life.
But most other times, I am distant from Him, find it hard to pray and am distracted, forget about going to confession (even though I will still make it once a month on average). I'm afraid that in these times, I'm not even much of a Christian. I'm afraid of how our Lord sees me when I'm like this, when I'm in my funk.
Right now, I find it hard to do things I enjoy. I can't even keep the house clean and can't seem to find energy to be even pleasant.
My husband and I recently moved to another state for his work, and we're really trying to get pregnant with no luck. I do wonder if it could be these stressful circumstances, but this has happened before these circumstances.
I also feel stress since my husband is not Catholic and I really try to be a good role model so that he may come to the Church, but his family is anti-Catholic. (Believe me, I do know God brought him into my life even though this situation).
I feel like a failure in this aspect since we argue a lot, especially when I'm not feeling spiritual, close to Jesus I mean. He's doesn't even go to a Protestant denomination Sundays, even though he says his beliefs are for the most part in line with dominant Protestant teaching. He's not baptised but he wishes to do so - it just hasn't happened yet.
I've thought of depression, there's a family history and it's happened to me. But there are times that I don't feel alone in our temporary residence, scared of something in the place.
Sorry for the length, but I just wonder if it's demonic influence? Or am I just backsliding? Both? I could use a little direction I guess.
Thank you so much.
ANSWER by John-Paul Ignatius, OLSM on September 6, 2002 Dear Mrs. In need:
It sounds to me that your experiences are the normal symptoms of stress and depression. You have a lot on your shoulders.
You may want to talk to your doctor about the depression. Also I would advise doing some things to relax -- such as get away from family, even for only 15 minutes, and be alone with yourself and with God.
Visit Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament at least once a week for a minimum of one hour. This will do a LOT for you.
Also recognize that we call fall into a funk once-in-awhile. God understands this and He loves you.
Since your mother is into New Age things I would also suggest praying the Renunciation of Ancestral Sins that is included in the Prayer catalog linked below.
You will also find other prayers there that may be helpful in praying for your family and your husband.
Also, if you are feeling like something is in the room, there are prayers in the Catalog that can help you on that score.
But, overall, it sounds like the majority of your problem is stress and depression.
However, please feel free to contact us again if you need more help or if things get more dicy.
God Bless and remember God loves you even in your funk :)
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