Faith/Spirituality Forum: Purity in a dating relationship

Purity in a dating relationship QUESTION from Joe May 7, 2001 I am 28 and have been dating a girl for a couple years. I plan on proposing to her shortly. We are both committed to waiting until marrage to have sex and have been diligent about it. My question is, she will often spend the night at my house and we will sleep in the same bed. We only sleep together and have never become physical nor do we sense any danger or sexual tension. Are there any moral implications to us sleeping in the same bed under these circumstances?
ANSWER by John-Paul Ignatius, OLSM on July 8, 2001 Dear Joe:
If you are sleeping in bed together and not having sex, then you are morally okay from that standpoint, but you must also consider the appearance of this action. You can cause scandal to others if they see you and your girlfriend staying together all night, and expecially if they find out you are in the same bed.
About NOBODY is going to believe you when you say that you are not having relations and have no sexual tension. Thus this situation really can cause scandal to others.
As for sleeping in the same bed and not having ANY sexual tension, I'd have to ask.... are you alive :-) You're a better man than me.
For the sake of not causing scandal to others, I would advise that your girlfriend not spend the night even though you are not sinning. That may not seem fair, but we do have to look out for weaker brothers and sisters who may not understand.
I can see no real reason to have her stay over -- unless it is storming and the bridge is out - -and then one of you can sleep on the couch.
The experience of sleeping together (I mean SLEEPING) should be reserved for the marriage bed. It is like you are trying to steal a little bite out of the cake before supper.
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