Spiritual Warfare Forum: Still feel stuff even after doing "de-Reiki"
Still feel stuff even after doing de-Reiki QUESTION from Lorraine on May 26, 2002 Well where should I begin? Well my last letters I have mentioned that I ask and pray to God/Jesus to remove all that is not from him, to remove all so called attunements whether they are called Reiki or whatever name they choose. I do this just about everyday. I also pray for him to help those that I have unintenionally harmed in any way.
Here's the thing, prior to all this Reiki stuff...I started to feel stuff with my hands like muscle twitching (but extremely obvious and fast...the person(s) felt it as did I), tingling, fuzzy feeling, not sure how else to describe it from other people. Years ago someone told me they had never felt such hot hands while working on her back and asked, I believe, it I heard of some technique. I honestly can't remember word for word what she said but I can guess now. I had no idea what that hot hand comment meant at the time, unfortunately I do now. It sounds crazy I know and to be honest I would have thought myself a bit odd a few years ago mentioning this. Unless you've experienced something like this it's hard to put yourself in someone else's shoes so to speak; maybe I'm learning a lesson the hard way. My opinion in the past on such stuff has come to bother me now. It surprised me when I first felt it because I wasn't trying to, it just happened. I feel stuff in my feet too. It's not as bad or as strong as before but it's still present. It's annoying. At times parts of my body feel spicy, for lack of a better word, as well, sometimes caused by my worries and anxieties...and sometimes not. Again, I still feel this stuff even after NUMEROUS prayers.
I don't understand why I still feel stuff. Is this what was supposed to happened to me prior to me being stupid and going the Reiki (and then some) route? In other words could what I have now is what God had originally intended for me after he removed all the other stuff? I pray to be cleansed of it, in fact I even stopped by church today and said a prayer to God with tears in my eyes to help me. If a priest were around at the time I would have spoken to him. Is all the stuff removed?
If I asked for it to be gone then why do some, not all, people still feel stuff from me, for example, when I massage (because I know how) their shoulders or neck? Some say it is not as strong, gentler, which perhaps means what is not from God is gone??? I'm not trying to do it and avoid even thinking that I am, in fact I ask God to protect me and those that I touch because I don't want any harm to come to them or myself. It bothers me that I may be causing harm but I have to tell myself that God is protecting me and those I touch. I pray AND pray for it (what is not of God) to permanently leave me. Sometimes to check if it's gone, I try to see if I feel stuff, and I do...which bothers me.
I've had a rough go at it. All this thinking, it causes periodic and sporadic anxiety. I worry for those that I could have harmed. I pray for them.
Now, to make things more interesting, at work (by the way I am not a massage therapist) these children said they saw the devil in the classroom, balls of light, heard voices, seeing dogs with hands in their mouths. They mentioned this during class and others heard. It could have very well been that they saw some scary movies not appropriate for them as was concluded by the counselor. It could also be end of the year anxiety which many kids are going through now. These are children that I have had contact with because I work with them daily. I pray for them because of this, I don't want harm because of association. It seems that a few more of the children more affected could have also been influenced by the stories of the other two because some went over to hear their stories and it snowballed after that. One said that a ball of light tried to go through me but didn't, another said it was going through (pushed through by something bad) but a fairy like thing pulled it out. Similar but different stories from the children yet it affected me. Regardless, I understand their fright and how they are affected. That situation was very real to them just as mine is to me in that sense it makes me empathetic because unless you've experienced something scary, bothersome it's harder to really know. What happened to the children affected me because I wonder if I could have played a part. Maybe I had nothing to do with it and indeed it was the movies seen. Maybe I'm meant to help them in some way because I can empathize. I don't know. All I know is that I went in the room and commanded in the name of Jesus that all that was not of him to leave the class and children at home...just in case it WASN'T the movies that caused all this. Just when I think I was getting better this all happened.
I guess in a nutshell my questions this time are:
1. Why do I still feel this stuff? Is it removed because I don't want it.
2. Praying for my past transgressions on others unintenionally, can it help them? Do I attone for them and if so how?
3. Do you suppose God wants me to help others with what he gave me...IS IT A GIFT FROM GOD? I tell Him I want nothing that is not of Him or from Him. In my heart I want to help people and have done so most of my life whether my family or others. I had a dream, but it seemed so real I would say it wasn't, once as a child where a large angel appeared. I grabbed on to his garments as he went up but at the last minute I looked down and said or heard myself say, who would take care of my family/mom. The angel reponded in effect that I could let go but it would be some while before I could go back up. You know, as a child I seemed to know that I would be taking care not only my parents, but aunts, cousins, family, and friends...even brief strangers. As it turns out I have. This is where I'm stuck...is what I have now, as opposed to the recent past, a gift from God??? With my past history of smelling non-existent roses after the death of my aunt and dreaming of an angel as a child only to have the dream come true, I don't know what's what anymore. (I've had other different experiences as well not just these.)Maybe it, what I feel now, is from God but how do I really know???
4. Could the children have been harmed by me? How can I help them?
5. Is there a special prayer a priest could say for me, an annointing?
6. How do I get rid of this anxiety? I just want to be normal again.
7. How can I forgive myself after God does? I need to set up some time with a priest soon when time permits to talk; could absolution help me feel better? In some sense I know it will, but it's hard to forget. I tend to not let it go. I've tried to do all the right things, but something tends to set it off again...like the children's comments.
8. How do I make peace with myself?
9. Is there anything else I can do?
Sorry for my LONG letter. I'm sure I could write more. I didn't have time to edit it so I hope you can make sense of it. Thanks for listening to me. I hope God can see that I am sorry, that I try to help people (and hope that my experience won't stop me from trying to help people), that He will help those that could have received any harm, that He will help me through his ordeal and that He give me peace of mind, peace of spirit, peace of emotion, psychological peace,and physical endurance to fight this stuggle.
Thanks for your prayers and your help.
ANSWER by John-Paul Ignatius, OLSM on May 30, 2002 Dear Lorraine:
We are praying for you and I am sure that we can come to at least some answers. But much of what you are asking is beyond the scope of this forum to answer. I would suggest that you contact Joe Meineke (see the link below). He is my assistant and can do an intake interview. Then we can proceed from there if needed.
But first, you need to see a physician. Some of the physical symptoms you describe could be the result of various medical or biophysical issues. Twitching I believe can be caused by some vitamin deficiencies and such. I am not sure on the details, but I think it would be wise to rule out any medical causes of these symptoms.
There is also a need to deal with your anxiety. That may be handled by a physician if it is biologically based, or by fully understanding your position in Christ and the promises Jesus has made to us. Jesus tells us to not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will take care of itself. Read Matthew chapter 5.
Once you see a physician and if he has no medical answer, then we can explore other possibilities for the symptoms.
There is also a need to deal with your anxiety. That may be handled by a physician if it is biologically based, or by fully understanding your position in Christ and the promises Jesus has made to us. Jesus tells us to not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will take care of itself. Read Matthew chapter 5. Also read daily Psalm 23.
I would also suggest talking to your priest about the feelings of not forgiving yourself and paying for past sins. You need to be assured that when you confess your sins they are wiped away. There is no more need to fret over them. Our sins sometimes have consequences that linger one, but that is handled by taking responsibility for the consequences.
After doing all that, if you need further help, I would advise contacting Joe for an appointment.
Spiritual Warfare Catalog If you need personal assistance and consultation, please contact my assistant Joe Meineke for information.
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