Spiritual Warfare Forum: Anger verses Hatred

Anger verses Hatred QUESTION from C J Allen October 7, 2001 I once read (don't remember the name of the book) that anger can be understandable in certain circumstances. It is advisable to resolve whatever problem caused the anger when possible. And people should never hold on to anger for very long. The way it was put was that we can have anger for so long and then after awhile anger (not possession at this point yet) can 'have us'.
I have a certain aquaintance who was made angry by a comment that I made on the internet. I appologized at least three separate times but I have not been told that I am forgiven. I then sent an e-mail which was supposed to be funny albeit slightly off-clolour. At this, the person was so furious that they told me off. I can't believe the reaction was so strong. Instead of calmly explaining that they don't approve and please don't send any more they have put a block on their e-mail.
Now I feel this person is over-reacting and that they are not only angry with me but they HATE ME. I sense there are actually very negative feelings in this person even a bit of evil directed at me. In an pre-waking dream I dreamt this person was part of the group that condemned the witches at Salem. The scene changed and the person became one of the Sadducees and Pharisees condemning the woman caught in adultery.
I just think that the things that I have done do not deserve that much strong emotion and that perhaps there is something very wrong with this person.
Am I right or way off base?
Thank you, C J
ANSWER by John-Paul Ignatius, OLSM on October 12, 2001 Dear Miss Allen:
Well I cannot speak to whether the anger of this person was justified or not. You do not mention the details of what you said, the circumstances around the conversation, etc.
But I can speak to a couple of things.
Yes, the Bible does instruct us not to let the sun go down on your wrath. In other words, get over the anger before you go to bed. If we don't do that, if we hold on to the anger then the anger will indeed have us. Then bitterness, grudge making, and hatred can develop and ruin our spiritual lives and even our physical lives. People who hold grudges often have more medical problems than those who let it go.
Whatever has happened between you two, there is one thing for certain -- you cannoit control your friend, you cannot make them like you. You have done what you should do -- apologize. That is all you can do. The call is in your friend's court now.
If your friend choses not to forgive your that is THEIR problem, not yours. YOU must now LET GO.
If is always painful when a friendship ends. It takes TWO to have a friendship. If your friend refuses to be a friend, then you can't change that, you must accept that.
Pray for your friend, not so much that you two become friends again (although you can pray for that too), but pray that your friend will be released from the bondage of anger, bitterness, and the like.
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