Spiritual Warfare Forum: Sinful Past
Sinful Past QUESTION from Paul October 5, 2001 Dear Bro. Ignatius,
I believe I have incurred latae sententiae excommunication in my teenagehood and I need your advice. Since you are no longer taking private e-mails I’d call for a personal appointment, but that’s not possible since I’m a foreigner living in Europe. Thus I’ll use your forum to deal with this issue, that involves sex, of heterosexual and homosexual nature, desecration of the Blessed Body of Christ, schism and other evil acts.
The following are the main episodes in my life of sin and my recovery from it, starting with some hidden facts that happened in my childhood:
1- At seven years old, under the influence of an eleven year old boy who lived in my building, engaged in homosexual conduct
2- I remained having contacts of homosexual nature with him for a while, and then I found out how disgusting and shameful the whole thing was; My parents never knew and will never know about that. But I must add that, at this time, the I felt that my actions were repugnant mainly because I used to play the female part, and not because of the homosexual nature of the acts.
3- Later, when I was ten years old, I taught the things I had learned to another boy who was nine years old and we had contacts of homosexual nature; this time, instead of playing the passive role, I played the active role; I also remember that I used to say that those acts would be much more pleasant if they involved me and some girl, and I had a great interest in heterosexual pornography and in girls, just like many other boys in my school.
4- By that time, I learned that homosexual behavior was a mortal sin and the perspective of hell, added to my growing repugnance to homossexualism, made me abandon that life style, but I sill had some final homosexual encounters after knowing that I was in state of mortal sin.
5- When I was twelve, I received the holy communion for the first time, and there a second sin started: the fraud against the absolution given in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. On the eve of the first communion Mass, we were required to approach the Sacrament of Penance for the first time. I remember that I confessed all my sins, but I failed to disclose to my parish priest anything regarding to my sexual life. I knew that the Church commanded us to reveal all our sins, even the most sinful, but I failed to do so.
6- The next day, I perpetrated a third sin, as I received the Holy Communion in state of mortal sin. Since then, I have approached the Sacrament of Penance many times, to confess all my sins, but those above mentioned. I have also many times approached the Sacrament of the Eucharist in that situation
7- When I was fifteen, I started losing my faith in the Church and then in God, and I started talking to others about my atheistic beliefs. After a while, I was defiant of God, joking about the Apostles, saying terrible things about the Our Lady, about her virginity and about Our Lord Jesus Christ. I would only believe in what science could prove, and I would be a fierce anti-catholic myself. But I always preserved an unexplain
ANSWER by John-Paul Ignatius, OLSM on October 12, 2001 Dear Mr. Paul:
Be of good cheer. God loves you and He is open and willing and happy to receive you into His bosum and fellowship again.
There is nothing that you have mention that incurrs an automatic excomunication, but even if there was, the solution is the same:
GO TO CONFESSION.
This time tell the priest EVERYTHING, and I mean EVERYTHING. Hold NOTHING back. Bare your soul to God through the Sacrament of Confession.
If you will do this, that is if you will give a GOOD confession (which means to tell everything, to be contrite and repentent with a firm decision to amend your ways), then when the priest absolves you, you will truly be cleansed of all your sins. They will disappear. YOU WILL BE CLEANED. Praise God.
Then you will be able to approach our Lord in the Most Blessed Sacrament of the Altar with a clean heart and conscience and you can begin to live a good Catholic Life.
P.S. I do take private consultations, but only by appointment, and I am not taking appointments until January. In addition to the telephone, I can also be reached through Internet Phone (computer to computer), by appointment. Internet Phone has no long distance charges.
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