Waking dream, depression, possession...... QUESTION from SG March 17, 2001 Hello, before I ask any questions here is rundown of what is happening to me. About a month ago I had what I have heard is called a Waking Dream or that is how I understand it to be....this experience has troubled me greatly since I am not certain whether I was awake or not. I had gotten up from my bed to go to the bathroom like I always do in the middle of the night (I must make it clear that the bathroom is right next to my room, that the upstairs hallway is only about 10 feet long and the only other room upstairs is my mothers room which 2 feet across from my room...).
I walked to the bathroom, but, I couldn't find it, all I could see was complete darkness and no matter which direction I turned trying to find the bathroom it was like I was walking down an endless hallway. I started to panic and sensed a presence all around me which scared me and I just couldn't find the bathroom. Finally, I started feeling the walls to see if I could find the door and after rushing to find the door in a panic, I found the bathroom door and went inside closed the door and behind the door we have a mirror and I just looked at myself in the mirror....
Later in this experience, I had become so freaked out because the presence was starting feel like the walls were closing in on me and I went to my mothers room like I do when I have a nightmare and sleep with her...the difference was that the presence stayed with me and no matter how I prayed I couldn't get any words out of my mouth.
In the morning I awoke in my own bed and asked my mom if she remembered me getting into bed with her, she said she never felt me get into bed or leave and go back to my own bed.
I don't know what to think... I must make clear that I do have a history of depression that has spanned 15 years, did suffer sexual abuse as a little girl and have had blood tests for chemical/hormonal imbalances which have all come out normal. I find that at times I do get into rages, get panic attacks and have an obsession with learning the truth about God and my existence (meaning that I have studied about other religions/beliefs from Astrology to Zoroastrianism). I feel like I am going through an internal battle and have tried to go back to the Catholic church, of which I was baptized as a baby. I feel down deep in my heart that my depression is a result of something that is not physical and so my questions are, 1. From my understanding possession is a gradual process, so one may not be aware of it, does that mean that do to my past interests in the New Age combined with my depression which started before these interests, I may have caused myself to suffer 15 years of hell? 2. Can this waking dream experience mean that if I am under possession, that it has reached an advance stage?
This possibility scares me alot and I would appreciate your help.
Sorry for the long message and God bless....SG
ANSWER by John-Paul Ignatius, OLSM on May 14, 2001 Dear Miss SG:
It is impossible to diagnose in a Q & A forum, but from what you have described this experience may be a natural result of the anxieties and traumas of your life working themselves out in your dreams.
Because you have experienced sexual abuse and also experimentation with other religions, it is always possible that the enemy might have hitch-hiked onto live. That is the way the devil often works -- as a hitch-hiker, rather than as a perpetrator.
IF there is any demonic involvement here, you may succeed in resolving that through the use of the Spiritual Warfare Catalog we have linked on the index page -- especially the Renunciation of Ancestral Sins and the Taking Back Ground from the devil prayers. There are others you may find useful.
Also staying close to the Church, going to Mass regularly, adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, a strong devotional life, etc. are all excellent technique to keep the devil away.
We will be praying for you.
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