Lutheran Church vs catholic QUESTION from Lisa on July 23, 2002 Hi, I was wondering if you could help me solve a huge problem in my relationship. I have been with my boyfriend for four years now and we are talking about marriage. My family and I are Catholic and his family is Lutheran. He does not want to convert to become a Catholic, but he understands if I don't want to become Lutheran. We need to come up with what religion we want to be and raise our family to be when we have kids. Our families are both very religious and we are both concerned if we convert to a different religion they will be very upset with us. I'm very confused and need someone else's opinion on this matter. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks Lisa
ANSWER by John-Paul Ignatius, OLSM on July 27, 2002 Dear Lisa:
Well, you are experiencing one of the reasons why it is not wise to marry outside of one's church.
But if you insist upon doing so, as a Catholic you are required to do several things.
1) the bishop must give permission for the mixed marriage (this is usually done through the pastor)
2) the Catholic party MUST agree to remove all impediements or dangers that may lead them to defect from the Catholic Faith
3) the Catholic marty must agree to batpize and raise the children in the Catholic Church and Faith.
4) the non-catholic party must be made aware of these promises that the Catholic party has made to the Church (and obviously really needs to be in cooperation of these promises)
5) both parties must undergo pre-cana instruction
6) the giving and receiving of marital consent and vows MUST be done according to Catholic marriage form and before a Catholic clergy. (The Lutheran minister may be present and participate with a blessing or a reflection or even a sermon in certain circumstances, but the couple CANNOT have a Catholic wedding AND a Non-Catholic wedding.
If your boyfriend and his family are devoted to their denominational faith, they may not be willing to do what YOU are required to do.
In that event, if he is not willing to cooperate in these six areas listed above, you cannot marry this man. If you do marry him outside of the Catholic Church you place your own soul in danger and you place the spiritual health of your future family in danger.
It is truly best to marry WITHIN one's own Church. But if he is willing to allow you and the children to live good Catholic lives and will not interfere with that, it might work.
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